As I write this I am currently a single mom. Aaron is working in the states for about a month and we are hoping he will be home next week! We have done this before but never this long. This has given me a whole new perspective and appreciation for military moms and dads that stay back as well as single parents. These people need our prayers. If you know someone like this please pray for them! And then pray again and again!
Even though this has been a really different experience for us, it has also been an enjoyable time filled with learning and growth. Since Aaron has been in the United States, I have really felt the presence of the Holy Spirit within me. There have been countless times during these two weeks that a problem comes up or something happens and without even thinking about it a verse or a hymn is immediately brought to mind. I have had to rely completely on the Father. I have never had this many instances of comfort when I needed them. I also realized something else: the days that I make my time with God a priority are the days that these comforts are very obvious to me. There have been times when none of my children were sleeping through the night and there was screaming and wailing... Did I mention that they were all piled in my room? Honesty, during that moment, I was sitting in my bed calling out to the Father with my arms raised in the air. I cried out “Abba, I am in another country, it’s the middle of the night, and my kids are screaming for no apparent reason?!” In that instance, who did I turn to for peace and rest: the Lord! I cried out to him, “Yahweh, Abba Father, please help me! Guess what?! God was there for me during that moment and He answered my plea for help and we all slept for a few hours. This whole time hasn’t been as dramatic as that particular night, but that evening was quite hectic. Honestly, since Aaron has been away, everything has been fairly calm and I am so thankful for that peace and calmness that the Holy Spirit has given me. I know that there are numerous people praying for me and I have felt their prayers several times over this past month.
Trust in the Lord with all heart and lean not on your own understanding.
Proverbs 3:5
Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.
Isaiah 41:10
I have also had an epiphany: I have been a mom for almost 11 years! How has this happened?! That wasn’t the epiphany. I have been searching for the last several years for my “mission” in life. Before Aaron left, I went to a Bible Study with some friends and on my way home it hit me: my “mission” is my children. Over the last two weeks, that very thought has washed over me and has sunken into my pores. For several years now, I have wondered what was my particular “thing” in ministry . I would find myself asking Aaron, “What’s my “thing?” What should I be doing with my life? I realize there are obvious, glaring things: I am a stay at home mom. I have four kids. You get the point. I have been known to say things like, “What is my mission? What am I good at? Where do I belong? Look at what she can do. I don’t do those things. I must be of a lesser value than that person.” Things of this nature were a fairly common occurrence in my thought life. I was comparing and I shouldn’t have been. It directed my focus from my ministry.
In all your ways acknowledge Him and he will make your path straight.
Psalm 3: 6
Meanwhile, I have been teaching my children and also wondering why do I feel so passionate when I teach them Biblical history or read them passages from Scripture? I find myself crying a lot because I am so passionate about teaching them the Word of God. This should have been a red flag, but some of us aren’t very fast learners or maybe good listeners or am I just a cryer? Whichever way you choose to look at it, this is the very mission that God has laid upon my heart. My kids ARE my mission! Why did it take so long for me to accept this thought? It’s not like I wasn’t already completing this mission, but the problem came because I was still searching for something else while doing so. I said that my children were my mission but I hadn’t fully committed to jumping into the mud puddle! Since then, I’ve jumped in and I’ve gotten mud all over me and there is a peace that comes with jumping in and being okay with the mud! If I may be transparent, the last month has shown me that things run a lot smoother when I’m content with my “mission” and I am not actively searching for something else. Don’t get me wrong there are still battles to be won and things aren’t all daisies and butterflies.
What is your mission? Is it staring you in the face, and if so, are you embracing it? Are you wondering what God has for you? Maybe he is revealing it to you piece by piece like he did for me. It might occur slowly, but he knows each one of us and how we work and how we learn. But he will reveal it to you if you are seeking His face. He is faithful and once he shows you His mission he will give you the strength to complete it.
Ps. We are leaving today to pick Aaron up from the airport! We are very excited!
